Frustration

This morning didn't not get off to the best start. I suppose this all stems from last night. My boyfriend and I finally discussed his going to homecoming, and while I want him to go, because I do not want him to miss out on this opportunity, the thought of him dancing with other girls is not a image I particularly enjoy. I know I am being selfish in a sense, because I trust Brett, I just don't trust the girls at my old high school. This situation has put a slight "strain" on our relationship for the time being, and I hate feeling down about something so silly as a high school dance. I know Brett feels bad now, and I am worried that because he knows I am a little upset that he won't go. I did send him an email this morning, however, telling him how I felt and that I do want him to go. Besides, all of my girlfriends will be home this weekend anyway, and if he goes to the dance it will give me an opportunity to see them without feeling guilty about not seeing Brett. Still, jealousy is a funny thing. I love the quote by Havelock Ellis, "Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive." In fact, I have this quote on my facebook page because I think there is so much truth in it. This is why I am trying my best to understand the point of view Brett is in, and realize that it is just a high school dance, nothing more. I know that relationships need to be built on trust and therefore I am going to attempt, key word being attempt, to not worry about this weekend. Still, the image of Brett dancing is imprinted on the back of my mind, though I am trying to suppress it. I am also frustrated because currently I am at work, so why am I blogging you ask? My boss is gone today, and it just so happens that the server is down and I cannot do anything I am supposed to be doing. Therefore, I had to ask the secretary what she thought I should do; her response being call ITS. So ITS was called at 9:25, and as you can tell it is 10:45 now and they have still not arrived. I feel like I am just wasting time, although I should be happy I am currently getting paid to sit and do nothing, but I hate feeling unproductive. I feel bad because I won't have the files indexed like my boss thought I would, and I know she will not be upset, since the server is down and it isn't my fault, but I still feel useless sitting at this computer; giving me to much time to think. I am trying to remember to be patient and understand that everyone else is probably just as busy as I am. Again, why am I being so selfish lately! I really need to pray about this I think. Hopefully my mindset will be changed this week. I suppose I should try and log on the server again though. Wish me luck!