Doctor

Today in class we dicussed a "liberal education" and its' true meaning. It was said that a liberal education is meant to be learning for simply the sake of, well, learning. I would love to think I am truly here at college to learn, simply because I want to know new things, and concepts, but in reality this is not the case. I suppose I would consider myself one of the people Giamatti refered to as having a different purpose, in the sense that I don't "want" a liberal education. It's not that I don't want one, and talking about this subject has got me thinking that I should be in search of a bigger purpose for my being here at Wartburg. Before this discussion today my whole goal in coming here was to one day get into medical school. I saw Wartburg as a stepping stone to get me to where I needed to be; now I feel I may need to start living in the "real world" instead of searching or waiting for it. I did not always want to be a doctor, in fact I'm still not sure I do. It amazes me, this choice, to be honest. I hated hospitals as a child, and actually swore once that I would never work in one, hah! However, as time went on and I started taking higher level science courses people kept telling me how good I was in the subject, and suddenly my views and aspirations changed. I still am not sure I want to be a doctor for the right reasons though. I do love science, and I love helping people, but I am slightly worried that money may be a bigger motive for me in this decision. My family is far from wealthy. I know my mom tries her hardest, but lets face it, in today's economy being a single mom of two making only $30,000 a year isn't going to cut it. I hate the reality of this fact, and all the sacrafices that my mom makes for me (again another reason I love her so much). Coming to Wartburg has been one of the most expensive decisions, for me, on our family. Even after receiving nearly $30,000 in scholarships, I still don't know how we are ever going to pay for it. One semester alone has financially hurt my family so bad that my mom is talking about taking on a second job, something that I personally would not allow, seeing as she already works to hard. However, this fact alone is why I am trying my hardest to reach a goal that will one day provide me the income to support my family. So that one day, my daughter won't be blogging about how worried she is she'll even finish college because of financial constraints (something that would break my mother's heart if she ever found out I was doing). Therefore, I am not sure if my motives are justified, in wanting to become a doctor. Regardless, I am stubborn, and my mom will be getting her money's worth, so that one day I can pay her back for everything she has done. So while my purpose here, at this moment in time, may not be centered on getting a liberal arts education, I feel my purpose is bigger in a sense that someday I will be able to provide the securities for my family that I wish I had now.